A family holiday

Working title  ‘Happy F!@#ing Birthday

You know the days that start where none of the numbers in the time are a 6 or 7 (wouldn’t that be heaven);

From the moment you get out of bed, you try to remember the title of a book you wish you’d read (something like ‘How to talk so children listen’ I think that’s what the Park Mum said);

Only sitting down on the loo or in a car (with the soundtrack ‘More rice cracker, Mummeeeeey’ on repeat);

At the cafe, juice goes everywhere:Juicy shoes, juicy vests, juicy jumpers and juicy legs (Good thing you packed the nappy bag, just unfortunate the spare clothes are soaked from loose water bottles);

In the pub, your kid purposefully spills his juice to your left, you restrain him  in a high chair to your right, he swiftly pisses, drip drip dripping, til one of us notices  (‘that’s what grubby pub carpet is for’ cried the waitress);

Each 15kilogram spawn won’t walk and ‘Wan carry’ (confirming the lack of gym membership is still a great financial saving);

12 hours later, willing the clock to show a 6 (7 would be better), you say to your partner in crime (coz sometimes it really does feel like a punishment) ‘I think I’ll fall over if I don’t take some time’;

Then you lie with your legs up a wall, reiki hands on face, watch the thoughts and feel your breath moving in your chest and stretch in your hips; Pure bliss. (Yet you’re spending the precious time without them composing this list).


This one’s called The Local IGA : 

I’ve made a name for myself at the local IGA,

We’re only here for a short stay,

But I’ve been in there at least twice a day,

Slowly looking at everything on display.

Taking my time, 

Anything to avoid those children of mine. 

—- And finally to share the full spectrum:

Heart strings were pulled

As the blinds were pulled 

Down on a scene 

I wasn’t meant to have seen 

Sneaking round the back

To get my bike

I see Ezra bouncing

Dan dancing 

To a familiar tune with lyrics I’m only now hearing: 

‘Love isn’t easy, life isn’t perfect…’

(I’ve since found out it’s ‘loving is easy, everything’s perfect’; both work!)

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